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Dear friends,
It’s November. How are you?! I’m footsore from trudging all over the neighborhood and sluggish after the candy consumption! I had a number of work setbacks in October, as did some of my mentees. This is normal, especially if you are trying new things and stretching your capabilities. After spending some time consoling myself by (1) ignoring email in favor of reading novels, and (2) eating all the chocolate, I decided it was time to try a new tool for learning from unwanted results: self-reflection.
Self-reflection is an old idea; it came to my attention recently via a book called Power by Jeffrey Pfeffer. I’ll share more about what I learned from this engrossing and controversial read in a future message. One idea that I enacted straight from the pages was spending 2-5 minutes following a high-stakes work situation writing down how you think it went. A high stakes work situation could include giving a lecture, negotiating for something you need, or an important meeting, among other things.
I’d recommend doing this self-reflection with pen and paper, but typing or telling another person works as well. I promise you that you will gain insights when you take something out of the realm of your own thoughts and put it out into the world, whether it’s on paper or spoken aloud.
As an example, my recent self-reflection showed me that I have an underlying assumption that everything is going fine, unless I know otherwise. This belief generally stands me in good stead. I tend to be calm and optimistic, and don’t usually take things personally. That said, looking back I can see that assuming everything is OK has contributed to all of the significant professional missteps I have made. I don’t think I would have seen this pattern without this tool, and I encourage all of you to try it at least once. It only takes two minutes, and you might surprise yourself!
Two caveats: (1) Self-reflection is not the same as self-criticism. You will notice that I said, “I have an underlying assumption about . . .” instead of “I am kind of clueless/out of touch . . .” Be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend. (2) Self-reflection is only helpful if it spurs a new mindset or behavior. To extend my example above, I decided I would do more unprompted, check-in type outreach to make sure my “no news is good news” assumption doesn’t lead me astray.
I would love to hear what you learn from self-reflection, and don’t forget to be in touch with all of your accomplishments. I love to promote all of your successes. As we look ahead to Thanksgiving, please know that I am grateful to have all of you in my circle!
Warmly,
Urmimala