Image provided by Flushing Hospital Medical Center.
Dear friends,
I bet you’re reading the subject line of this email or the title of this blog and wondering whether I’ve been replaced this month by my evil twin! Why would I, a person who opposes overwork and believes in rest, be telling you to say yes to the stress?! I recently made a last-minute decision that has wrecked my careful planning, and I want to share why I think it is important to sometimes choose stress.
In mid-January, my mother invited me and my daughter to join her on her trip to Kolkata, India, for the last 2 weeks of February, to be a part of what she envisions as her last trip there. I have never in my entire career decided to take off for a two-week vacation on less than a month’s notice, and I had already committed to time off in March. When I looked at my quarterly plan, going to India seemed impossible. And yet, I chose to go, because the emotional pull could not be denied. When you are reading this email, I will have returned, completely exhausted and very anxious. What I hope is that the stress will fade and the memories will sustain me.
There was no way to square my existing commitments with this trip. Some tasks could be cancelled or postponed, but I needed help with the essential work. It was especially hard for me to ask for help because it is not an emergency, but instead the fulfillment of a long-held wish. Luckily, for the past few years, all my projects have been co-led with amazing people who are more than collaborators- they are true friends. Because they will keep things moving, I can have this very important family experience. Before I left, I planned meticulously and tried to anticipate as much of the work as I could. Everyone, including departmental leadership, expressed support, and I am grateful to have excellent staff who have stepped up to make this possible. I attribute this positive response to our work culture, and I’ve promised myself that I will pay it forward.
There have been real trade-offs because of this trip- a planned R01 will likely go in in October instead of June, and I will simply miss out on some events that matter to me. Since I am a planner, it has been hard to have to let these things go. I suspect I will be re-calibrating my goals and plans for the rest of 2026 because of this trip, and I keep telling myself that’s OK.
Have you ever said yes to a stressful but important time commitment? How did it go for you? Drop me a line and tell me about it! As always, I love to hear from you. Please share widely, as usual, and let others know they can sign up here.
Warmly,
Urmimala