Dear friends,

We made it through May! I still feel like I am going full steam ahead, though I hope to get into a gentler summer rhythm in the next couple of weeks. I attended the Society for General Internal Medicine Annual Meeting a couple of weeks ago, and as always, I enjoyed catching up with old friends and meeting new people at my professional home.

At this year’s meeting, I did something different. In addition to attending scientific sessions and having lots of meetings, I went to a workshop on mindful self-compassion and career transitions. I have been interested in the topic of self-compassion, defined by psychologist Kristin Neff as treating yourself with the same care, warmth, and understanding you would offer a good friend, for years. I’ve read a number of articles and tried to put them into practice on my own, without much success. At the last minute, I decided to pop into the session, telling myself I could step away anytime.

Academic general internists have high standards for educational workshops, so of course there was a presentation portion, a pair-share, facilitated small-group discussion, a written self-assessment using a validated scale, application of the concepts to cases, and a report out. I can’t recap all of it, but there were some insights that have stuck with me.

There are three elements of mindful self-compassion: (1) mindfulness, or being aware of moment-to-moment experience and allowing all thoughts, emotions, and sensations to enter awareness without resistance or avoidance; (2) self-kindness, in which we support, encourage, protect, unconditionally accept, and actively sooth and comfort ourselves; and (3) common humanity, or the recognition that all humans, including us, are flawed, fail, make mistakes, experience hardship, suffer, and are growing.

The workshop underscored my belief that medical/ academic training culture actively inhibits self-compassion. To get through our training, we learn to push down or deflect our feelings to focus on our patients and get the work done. After years of ignoring or suppressing uncomfortable emotions, it is hardly surprising that self-compassion, which requires that we feel our feelings, is difficult to practice! A highly distinguished national leader and scholar whom I have admired for years was sitting next to me at the workshop. It turns out many of us struggle to find self-compassion, regardless of our outward success. Finally, I thought self-compassion was an individual project, but I learned that it is just the opposite. Engaging with other people who can reflect back and/ or reframe our self-talk is key. I am inspired to make my self-compassion practice more open and interactive. Maybe it will stick better this time!

Have you thought about or learned about self-compassion? Did it change your thinking? I’d love to hear about it. Please share widely, as usual, and let others know they can sign up here.

Warmly,

Urmimala