Dear friends,

It’s November! I love the fall, with its back-to-school energy, spooky vibes, gathering, and gratitude. Every year I picture myself hanging out with friends, wearing a cozy sweater and drinking a hot beverage, and every year I find I have somehow become busier than I hoped. When will I learn not to make too many plans?! What about you? Are you keeping up the energy or struggling to maintain your pace?

Last month I wrote about gaining more mental space, as well as more time in my day, now that I am an empty-nester free bird. It may not surprise you to learn that by early October I realized that I had overextended myself. I started to feel very behind and overwhelmed, especially because we had several team members out of office at the same time. During one time window that I had blocked to work, I felt too paralyzed by stress to make much progress. It seemed like I was bound to fail- my upcoming talk would surely be a dud, and I would be the bottleneck for manuscripts that need to be submitted.

I am glad to say that my talk did not bomb, and I did send comments back to collaborators in a timely fashion. How did I get back on track? By listening to my own advice, which was hard! Without my kids at home, my time is less structured, and I have found I need external accountability more. I started joining a weekly Zoom working session with colleagues. I took advantage of my no-meeting day to do deep work and to map out what to do during an upcoming flight. While I was traveling, I used my downtime well, a balance of work and leisure. I set a boundary with a colleague who has unrealistic expectations for my availability. And I would be remiss not to give my husband credit- he offered to independently do some household stuff that we had been planning to work on together.

When undone tasks pile up, it’s hard not to panic. This month I learned- for about the zillionth time- that I should not use my feelings to gauge how far behind I am. Remember, if you feel overwhelmed, it may not reflect the state of your work. I bet it would only take one or two days of deep work for you to get some breathing room and feel better.

December will be here before we know it, friends! One tradition that I do not love is when everyone I work with sends me manuscript drafts and other products right before the winter holidays- apparently this is called the “December dump”. This year, I have made it known that anything that comes my way after December 10th will be reviewed in 2027. Let’s strive to have a calm and manageable end to the calendar year! As always, knowing you are out there reading this fills me with gratitude! Please share widely, as usual, and let others know they can sign up here.

Warmly,

Urmimala